Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Does Online Dating Really Work?

According to over 100 thousand couples that are married and the millions of people who date throughout the year, they will say yes – online dating most definitely works. However, for a majority of people who are using an online dating site, you’d probably see them cringe if you ask them the same question.

Why does online dating work for a group of people and not the majority of them? Well, the answer is quite simple – most people aren’t being themselves when they create an online dating profile. Research suggests that approximately 90% of people who create profiles admit to lying about something on their profiles in an attempt to make themselves feel more desirable. This is one of the biggest contributors to why many online daters can’t seem to find success.

Many people may say “hey, I’ve never lied on my profile”, but when research suggests “people admit to lying”, much like body language, it’s not whats being said, it’s how it’s being said - it’s subliminally deceptive. For example, when someone spends time with their friends, they’re more inclined to let loose and not worry so much about what they’re saying and how they’re saying it, because it’s just casual conversation. When people create a profile however, they tend to use more sophisticated language that may seem as a better way of making a good first impression, but in reality, it may come off as a bit intimidating.

Another example is stretching the truth about age, height, weight, and profession. While most people may not think there’s not much harm in shedding off a few pounds or a few years and adding a few inches to you height, please remember that when you’re dating people, you’re looking for reasons to want to keep someone around, as well as, looking for reasons to cross them out. Fibbing about ones profession is the most commonly abused areas of online dating. People tend to lie about titles and salary. There’s nothing wrong with being single professionals, regardless of title and compensation, the fact that you have a career should be good enough. Honesty is huge! Just remember that if you happen to exchange messages with someone and it just so happens to lead to a date - the things that you said about yourself throughout the initial exchanges of conversation, will be held against you. If you show up a few pounds heavier, a few years older or a few inches shorter than you described, it may be no big deal, but understand that someone who does take notice may develop reasons not to trust you.

Being honest with yourself and others throughout your online dating cycle will make every single message that much more rewarding. After all, online dating is all about finding someone that you can be comfortable with, right?

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